Need to end your week with a laugh? How about I tell you a story?
I woke up at 5:15ish. My hips were hurting sooo bad from sleeping in one position too long, I could barely walk. Apparently this happens when your pregnant belly prevents you from turning over while sleeping. Things people don’t tell you before kids… I made my way to the couch for a little rest, knowing a child or two would be up in 45 minutes. Or less.
A whirlwind of chores, kids, changing diapers, work emails, breakfast, and walking the dog began shortly.
At 11ish, I finally got in the shower. My eldest sweetheart got out a snack for himself and his siblings. I listened through the bathroom door as he prayed before they ate. Oh what a wonderful day it was turning out to be…A few minutes later the middle two sweethearts of mine decided to launch Cheez-its around the table and at their older brother.” Oh well. At least they all prayed together first.”
While I was getting dressed, I heard them all loudly wrestling, so I peeked out to make sure they were playing and not fighting. At the same time, my oldest ran to the door and OPENED IT (Yes, we’ve had talks on that.) for our mail lady to drop off a package. I’m praying she couldn’t see my pantsless lower half around the corner. 😳🙈
After my shower I began preparations to leave the house. I HAD to go to the dollar store. We were out of disposable diapers (that I needed for packing hospital bags for the kids for when baby brother arrives), laundry detergent, and down to my last few cloth diapers. Not a good combination.
Chaos ensued. I fought to get everyone dressed and fed another snack. No real lunch was eaten. By 2:00 we were finally presentable and ready to leave the house. I told the boys, “Do NOT go to the car yet.” They did it anyway. I went out after them to unlock it and put the baby in. I stepped back out on my ankle wrong. Little sister came out of the house behind me, one of her shoes fell off in the yard, and in all the distractions I shut the wooden door to the house without checking the deadbolt. It was locked. The boys never unlatch it correctly – the whole reason I tell them not to leave the house before me. 😳😣 It is very old and has no key.
“I’ll deal with that later…”
We went to the store. I had a list. I made the list in the store parking lot before we got out of the car, but nevertheless it was a list and had the necessary items on it. We got to the checkout, paid for our stuff, and the girl hit a wrong button which messed up my payment. She had to refund the whole thing and redo it all. At that point I’m laughing. Really, what else?
Went to sonic for a 3:00 “lunch”. 😂 Grilled cheese sandwiches were 50 cents, but of course no one other than the baby wanted one. “Hot dog, corn dog, and chicken it is then…”
I realized I forgot to buy diapers. Yay.
We went back home and broke into the house. Mind you, I had just consumed a lot of fluid, so I was doing the pregnant lady potty dance at this point. On my front porch. While attempting to unlock an old door that we rarely use. For a second, I actually wondered if the key I had even went to that particular door. It did. Thank goodness. Then I remembered our 90-100 lbs. puppy was in his crate. Right in front of that door. Thankfully his crate was also sitting on the door mat. Between moving it a bit and moving the small table next to the door, I was able to squeeze my extra large belly into the house and make a run for the bathroom, yelling instructions about opening the other door to the 6 year old on my way.
I unloaded everyone and everything from the car. Then I slammed the van door into my kneecap.
My concerned husband called to make sure we got back in the house. As I was talking to him, the littlest got upstairs, Sissy had a potty accident upstairs, and the dog was whining to go out. “Yes, we made it in. I’ve been a bit too busy to let you know.”
I took care of all that, loaded the kids back up and took the boys to choir practice. I came home for a bit and started a movie with my girls. Ahhhh relaxation. A whole 45 minutes of it. Then I loaded the girls back up to go get the boys, and my husband’s bucket truck pulled in the driveway just as I was buckling car seats. He went with us, and afterwards we picked up our extra van seat from storage, came home, unloaded, walked the dog, started to make snacks for the kids, and my husband’s phone rang. Back to work…
That, my friends, is The Story of Wednesday. I wish I could say it was a work of fiction.