Tag Archives: my one word

Serve him pt 3: wisdom

This is part 3 of a series I’ve been doing on my one word for 2014, serve, in relation to wives serving their husbands.
Here are part one and part two.

servehimheart

A few weeks ago I chose Proverbs 31:26 as my memory verse.    She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

The next day I was reading in Proverbs chapter 4, and verses 4-9 deal with gaining and cherishing wisdom and understanding and it brought me back to that verse.

Get wisdom, get understanding: do not forget my words or swerve from them. Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. Esteem her, and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you. She will set a garland of grace on your head and present you with a crown of splendor. (Proverbs 4: 4-9)

You know how you can read a passage 100 times and suddenly see it differently? That’s what happened to me today. The word she stood out.
Women are to speak with wisdom and faithful instruction. How important our gaining of wisdom and understanding is to that of our husbands! I read the passage again and repeated Proverbs 31:26 after each verse.

Proverbs 4:6  – Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you.
She spoke with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. (31:26)

Our gaining of wisdom can not only protect us, but also our husbands. It is important, not only for our own benefit, but also that we can be a benefit to others.

Leave a comment

Filed under Christian Living, marriage, My One Word, Serve

Serve him pt. 2: With your words

servehimheart

At the beginning of the year I mentioned my word for 2014 is serve. This is part two of my Serve him series. It started with Serve him part one: Pray.
We so often think of serving others with our hands, by doing things for them. However, everyday we have the opportunity to serve others with our words, especially our husbands. With your words, you can build your husband up or tear him down, both to him and to others. Today I’m talking about serving him through our words to others.

Choose your words (and your audience) carefully.

We’re all pr0bably familiar with Ephesians 4:29.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Often the focus is on the first part of the verse though, when the end (…that it may benefit those who listen.) is just as important. When talking about someone, whether good or bad, usually the person being discussed is thought to be the person helped or harmed. That’s not the whole picture though. When you speak of your husband, you have the opportunity to not only build up his reputation but to also set an example for those listening of how Christians view and speak of their spouses. I think women especially have a tendency to unintentionally tear down their husbands to others, under the guise of “venting” usually. This can be a dangerous practice though. The next time you start to vent about your husband to a friend, stop and ask yourself these questions first.

1. Am I complaining or am I seeking counsel on an issue I’m not sure how to handle or resolve?
Complaining isn’t going to do anyone any good. In fact, it will probably only make you feel worse. And the listener isn’t likely to forget the harsh things you say about your husband. Their view of him will always be tainted by that. When I start to complain about something, Philippians 2:14 and 15 come to mind.
Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky. Don’t point out his flaws to others just to complain. How would you feel if you heard he was speaking poorly of you to his friends? Be kind. Don’t boast. Don’t keep records of wrong doings. Remember 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

2. If I am seeking advice, will this person have a worldly view or a biblical view of the issue? And will they be honest with me if it is something I need to fix in myself?
Choose your audience wisely. I’ll say it again. Choose your audience wisely.
You don’t want to receive (and use) poor advice from someone who doesn’t have a biblical view of the issue or marriage. You also don’t want to set a poor example of how other women should treat their husbands. I promise, people are watching you more closely than you think.

3. If they’re a trustworthy Christian friend, and I am seeking advice, how can I word it so that I’m not making my husband out to be the bad guy who never does anything right? Is there an aspect of the issue where I am at fault and need to work on or ask forgiveness for?
Do not be afraid to seek godly counsel and prayer over issues. Just go about it with humility and grace. You’re not perfect. Neither is he. Show grace and kindness to your husband when you speak of him to others. Again, others are watching, and many you would never even suspect are learning from your actions. You’re also more likely to get better advice and resolve the issue quicker if you approach it with humility and realize there’s probably a lesson in it for both of you, maybe even you more so than him. (Ouch. Yes, that happens to me too.)

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. (Proverbs 31:11-12)

It (love) always protects… (1 Corinthians 13:7)

Serve your husband by protecting him with the words you speak to others. Bring him good, not harm.

6 Comments

Filed under Christian Living, marriage, My One Word

Serving him: Pray {part 1}

I’ve spent the last few weeks studying and thinking on several things. One of those is my one word for 2014, serve.

servehimheart

One of the first things I did was update my daily to do list.

image from instagram

This simple act reminds me of my priorities throughout the day as I check things off my list. While returning those library books is important, it’s not exactly serving my family if I’m the only one that cares and they aren’t due for another week. Getting supper started on time however, is a bit higher up the list. 🙂

Then I started looking at different ways I could serve God, my husband, my children, and others each day.
After filling a few pages in my notebook, I figured it would be good to share some of my thoughts and what I’m learning over here. I’ll start with sharing some ideas about and ways for us wives to serve our husbands. This will be part one of a series.

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. Colossians 4:2

The most important way wives can serve their husbands is to pray for them. Pray, pray, pray, and pray some more. Every day. Pray for wisdom. Pray for courage. Pray for patience. Pray for endurance. Pray for strength. Pray for contentment. Pray for whatever the Lord lays on your heart for him. Before going any further, I’d like you to know I’m not perfect at it! I thank God for the man I married pretty much every single day. He’s amazing, and I see daily what a blessing he is to my life. However, I tend to forget that he needs daily prayer for the everyday things he deals with, until something comes up anyway. I actually wrote it on my to do list today to be sure I didn’t let the day slip away without taking my wonderful husband to the Father and at least praying for his safety and for him to be granted wisdom and courage.

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Ephesians 6:18

Between the everyday prayers, do pray for him through the big stuff too. God is more productive with us through prayer than we ever will be on our own. Also, pray for yourself as his wife. Don’t be afraid to ask God to transform you into the wife he needs you to be. What a better way to serve your husband than by allowing God to refine and change your heart? We always have room for growth and refinement. It’s not always fun, but it is well worth it.

If you are looking for a good place to start for a daily prayer for your husband, I really love this infographic from Jennifer over at Loving Life at Home. As soon as we get moved, a copy of it will be displayed on my desk. 🙂

3 Comments

Filed under Christian Living, family, marriage, My One Word

My One Word 2014: Serve

As I mentioned in my last post, each year I prayerfully choose a word that I feel God is leading me to grow in. Through every trial and joy there are lessons to be learned and room to grow in Him, and this keeps me focused and looking for those opportunities instead of just passing through them without gaining any wisdom at all.

For 2014, my word is serve.

I like to start each year looking at the definition of my word and a few verses throughout the bible that pertain to it.
One definition of serve is perform duties or services for another person or an organization.

Today’s verses:
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men. Colossians 3:23

…It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Colossians 3:24b

If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the good things of the land;
Isaiah 1:19 (Willing and obedient, not just obedient…)

The Lord says: “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is based on merely human rules they have been taught.
Isaiah 29:13

Serving isn’t just about your actions, but also your heart. That’s the hard part for this mama. I can serve all day long, but if my heart isn’t in it, God knows, I know, and there’s a good chance those I’m serving know it too. Before I add any more to my serving to-do list, I have to make sure I’m doing what I already have on my plate with a happy heart.

Will you join me this year in praying for a word to learn and grow in this year? Or have you already chosen a word for 2014?

2 Comments

Filed under Christian Living, My One Word

2013: My word of the year – content (in review)

Each year since 2012, I have prayerfully chosen a word to grow through over the course of the year and learn about through our trials and blessings. This provides a way for me to be on the lookout for God’s wisdom and lessons in day to day life. It’s certainly not always easy or fun, but I guess wisdom doesn’t come cheap. 🙂

In 2013, it was content. I was nervous about it from the get-go. That doesn’t even sound like a fun word! But I was still on a high from the way 2012 ended (a new baby and a grand new adventure for our family!) to look too far into the future. Then reality hit.

Here’s a quick run through of some of our year before I get into what I learned about contentment.

– Jan. 2013
With three weeks notice, we moved 50 miles from the home I grew up in, crammed most our belongings into a storage unit and the rest, plus the 5 of us, 2 dogs, and a cat with newborn kittens, into a 950 sq. ft. house with literally zero yard, on a super busy street, in the middle of a new town.
My husband started a new job.

– Feb. -October 2013
Chaos.
We didn’t know many people.
I was starting to get depressed from the isolation.
Renters moved into our old house.
I turned 26 and had a fun date night with my husband and our 4 month old in Memphis.
We dedicated our baby girl to The Lord and found a church family.
Our renters moved out and we were back to paying rent and a mortgage and utilities on 2 homes.
Our new home started feeling like home.
Our oldest son played soccer for the first time.
We found out we would be having a 4th baby.
We moved back to Bono house that still hadn’t sold.
We signed a contract to sell our house in Bono a week or so later.

-November 2013
Chaos. Lots of chaos.
Two birthdays & Thanksgiving.
More time and money spent on our house.
We learned the house we had our hearts set on buying had been vandalized beyond what we had the time or money to repair.
I shed a lot of tears.
I threw a few fits.
We were told our house would close right around Christmas, so we packed up, put more stuff in storage, and moved again into the upstairs 2 bedrooms of my parents’ house.

– December 2013
More chaos.
An ice storm ruined our plans to have a weekend away for the first time in two years. (Oh the life of a lineman!)
A month long fight with our buyers’ bank to get a closing date, that still hasn’t ended.
Another birthday.
Our anniversary came and went without a chance to celebrate it.
We put in an offer on a house, but due to our issues from our buyers’ bank, we were a day or two too late.
I shed more tears.
Christmas.
Then the year ended.

In between all that stuff there were lots of other big stressors that popped up with sick family members, unexpected traveling, car repairs, our car was hit in our own front yard, my husband’s company went through a restructuring and laid off a lot of people, sick kids, and several other things that very well could have sent us all over the edge. We also spent nearly every single weekend and a ton of money working on updates and repairs at our old house. Did I mention chaos? Then, just like that, another year was gone. On New Years Day 2014, all I said was, “We survived.” It was not an easy year.
That’s not the truth though, at least not the whole truth. We did survive. We also grew. We loved. We somehow managed to make some fun memories along the way.
I learned a lot. I grew in contentment in ways I hadn’t really considered before, and I was thankful for the contentment I already knew in other areas.

Content – in a state of peaceful happiness
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5

Through my word content, last year I learned…

– through downsizing twice in one year, how to be content with far less stuff. I am honestly embarrassed by the sheer amount of material possessions my family had crammed into our 1200 square foot house.
– to be content in my home, with just the company of my children and husband most of the time. Before we moved, I was used to being constantly on the go and having the freedom to get out with friends for bible studies, late night coffee, etc. once or twice each week. After the first move, I rarely left the house alone. That was a big adjustment. Now I can’t wait to have my own home again, so I can enjoy that time even more.
– that I actually enjoy grocery shopping and cooking for my family all the time. So many complain about those tasks, but I am so thankful I have a husband at home each night now to feed!
– a content marriage is a blessing when facing lots of trials. Our year would have been so much worse if my husband and I had taken our stress out on one another instead of being in it all together.
– my husband expects far less of me than I expect of myself.

All year long, I was reminded of God’s faithfulness and love. I also learned that all those people that told me 3 kids were easier than 2 didn’t have 3 kids in less than 3 years. 🙂
Mostly, I learned being content isn’t just accepting your lot and going on. It’s having peace, happiness, and joy in everything you have and do.

2 Comments

Filed under Christian Living, linelife