Tag Archives: husband

Serve him pt. 2: With your words

servehimheart

At the beginning of the year I mentioned my word for 2014 is serve. This is part two of my Serve him series. It started with Serve him part one: Pray.
We so often think of serving others with our hands, by doing things for them. However, everyday we have the opportunity to serve others with our words, especially our husbands. With your words, you can build your husband up or tear him down, both to him and to others. Today I’m talking about serving him through our words to others.

Choose your words (and your audience) carefully.

We’re all pr0bably familiar with Ephesians 4:29.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Often the focus is on the first part of the verse though, when the end (…that it may benefit those who listen.) is just as important. When talking about someone, whether good or bad, usually the person being discussed is thought to be the person helped or harmed. That’s not the whole picture though. When you speak of your husband, you have the opportunity to not only build up his reputation but to also set an example for those listening of how Christians view and speak of their spouses. I think women especially have a tendency to unintentionally tear down their husbands to others, under the guise of “venting” usually. This can be a dangerous practice though. The next time you start to vent about your husband to a friend, stop and ask yourself these questions first.

1. Am I complaining or am I seeking counsel on an issue I’m not sure how to handle or resolve?
Complaining isn’t going to do anyone any good. In fact, it will probably only make you feel worse. And the listener isn’t likely to forget the harsh things you say about your husband. Their view of him will always be tainted by that. When I start to complain about something, Philippians 2:14 and 15 come to mind.
Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky. Don’t point out his flaws to others just to complain. How would you feel if you heard he was speaking poorly of you to his friends? Be kind. Don’t boast. Don’t keep records of wrong doings. Remember 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

2. If I am seeking advice, will this person have a worldly view or a biblical view of the issue? And will they be honest with me if it is something I need to fix in myself?
Choose your audience wisely. I’ll say it again. Choose your audience wisely.
You don’t want to receive (and use) poor advice from someone who doesn’t have a biblical view of the issue or marriage. You also don’t want to set a poor example of how other women should treat their husbands. I promise, people are watching you more closely than you think.

3. If they’re a trustworthy Christian friend, and I am seeking advice, how can I word it so that I’m not making my husband out to be the bad guy who never does anything right? Is there an aspect of the issue where I am at fault and need to work on or ask forgiveness for?
Do not be afraid to seek godly counsel and prayer over issues. Just go about it with humility and grace. You’re not perfect. Neither is he. Show grace and kindness to your husband when you speak of him to others. Again, others are watching, and many you would never even suspect are learning from your actions. You’re also more likely to get better advice and resolve the issue quicker if you approach it with humility and realize there’s probably a lesson in it for both of you, maybe even you more so than him. (Ouch. Yes, that happens to me too.)

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. (Proverbs 31:11-12)

It (love) always protects… (1 Corinthians 13:7)

Serve your husband by protecting him with the words you speak to others. Bring him good, not harm.

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Serving him: Pray {part 1}

I’ve spent the last few weeks studying and thinking on several things. One of those is my one word for 2014, serve.

servehimheart

One of the first things I did was update my daily to do list.

image from instagram

This simple act reminds me of my priorities throughout the day as I check things off my list. While returning those library books is important, it’s not exactly serving my family if I’m the only one that cares and they aren’t due for another week. Getting supper started on time however, is a bit higher up the list. 🙂

Then I started looking at different ways I could serve God, my husband, my children, and others each day.
After filling a few pages in my notebook, I figured it would be good to share some of my thoughts and what I’m learning over here. I’ll start with sharing some ideas about and ways for us wives to serve our husbands. This will be part one of a series.

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. Colossians 4:2

The most important way wives can serve their husbands is to pray for them. Pray, pray, pray, and pray some more. Every day. Pray for wisdom. Pray for courage. Pray for patience. Pray for endurance. Pray for strength. Pray for contentment. Pray for whatever the Lord lays on your heart for him. Before going any further, I’d like you to know I’m not perfect at it! I thank God for the man I married pretty much every single day. He’s amazing, and I see daily what a blessing he is to my life. However, I tend to forget that he needs daily prayer for the everyday things he deals with, until something comes up anyway. I actually wrote it on my to do list today to be sure I didn’t let the day slip away without taking my wonderful husband to the Father and at least praying for his safety and for him to be granted wisdom and courage.

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Ephesians 6:18

Between the everyday prayers, do pray for him through the big stuff too. God is more productive with us through prayer than we ever will be on our own. Also, pray for yourself as his wife. Don’t be afraid to ask God to transform you into the wife he needs you to be. What a better way to serve your husband than by allowing God to refine and change your heart? We always have room for growth and refinement. It’s not always fun, but it is well worth it.

If you are looking for a good place to start for a daily prayer for your husband, I really love this infographic from Jennifer over at Loving Life at Home. As soon as we get moved, a copy of it will be displayed on my desk. 🙂

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Filed under Christian Living, family, marriage, My One Word