Category Archives: funny

The tragic death of Rosie Roomba

When you entered my life 6 months ago, I was excited, yet uncertain of you. I was sure I didn’t deserve you, but my husband insisted. I half-jokingly nicknamed you Rosie, just like the Jetson’s robot. I had no idea how much I would love you. Immediately, you made yourself right at home in our home, scurrying from one room to the next. We quickly became friends; you were such a great helper – always scooting through our rooms, cleaning our messes and allowing me to focus more time on other things. I am so grateful for all you did.

Then that fateful Tuesday evening arrived. It was a good day, a day like any other. I had busied myself in the kitchen to prepare a meal for my family, as you busied yourself cleaning up our afternoon mess. The children were helping by preparing their own cups of water. You were just going about your business, and she about hers. I promise it was an accident. She meant no harm. A drowning was certainly not on the agenda, but as she approached the table, you were leaving the table and that cup of water went right on your face. I think the world stopped for a few seconds. I tried to save you. I rushed for a towel. You were rushed to the kitchen and rested in dry rice. I even added more rice the next morning. We tried our best. Unfortunately, it was your time to leave us.

So I sadly say goodbye to my dear friend, Rosie the Roomba. You will be greatly missed.

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dead roomba

RIP Rosie March 19, 2015 – September 15, 2015

 

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just another day in paradise

I’ve seen this at least 50 times, and I love it no less.

My toddler ate all my gum this morning while I cooked breakfast to retaliate for me making her stop digging in the freezer and putting the ice cream back. (I know it was in retaliation because she proudly waltzed into the kitchen with the last half stick in her hand, opened her mouth wide, and said, “I eat all your gum,” with a very devious ‘what are you going to do about it’ grin.)

Then she colored on the walls with my orange highlighter I’ve been missing for a week.

And unrolled all the toilet paper.

I also found a plate of half-eaten food (and a lego man) in our stack of folded blankets tucked under the hall table.

And my husband just called to say he’s working late.

And I texted him this afternoon to say that I dozed off watching a science video with the boys today during our school lessons.

And our oldest has a 1 1/2 hour baseball practice this evening.

Unfortunately the nearest Starbucks is an hour away. Sonic will have to do.

I’m really glad God gave me a good sense of humor and pretty weather today.

And caffeine. 🙂

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I Put Peanut Butter on my TV

Today I put peanut butter and bathroom cleaner on my plasma tv.

No, I haven’t lost my mind, though I almost did when I saw that my four year old had stretched his bubble gum across the screen of our 42-inch plasma television. Yes, this post is about bubble gum removal. I have no idea what the boy thought he was doing, but his reasoning was, “I was trying to have fun by myself.” How is this the same kid that was out of bed, dressed, and making his bed at 6:45 this morning? I have no idea. Nevertheless, bubble gum is not an easy thing to remove from any surface, much less that of a television screen.

After my attempts to pull off the larger pieces were only somewhat successful, I decided to consult my trusty friend Google.
I found this helpful article on ehow.com.

The article said I would need creamy peanut butter {check}, bathroom cleaner in a spray bottle {check}, and a clean microfiber cloth {check}.

That’s right. With a little creamy peanut butter, a spray bottle of bathroom cleaner, and microfiber cloth, you can remove smeared gum from a plasma tv screen. Some of the worst spots did require smearing the peanut butter in really good with the cloth prior to wipe off, and a few tiny spots had to be scratched off with my fingernail, but overall it was a pretty simple process. Thank goodness for the Internet!

I didn’t get a before picture, but here is a during and after of the process.

 

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television after gum was removed

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ALWAYS lock the fridge

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Why am I posting a picture of a bottle of mustard? Just hang in there with me for a minute.

A few nights ago, I was needing to make an important, work-related, phone call, and Steven wasn’t there to be on kid duty. I did the normal mommy things: got the boys snacks and drinks, lectured on the importance of being quiet, reminded them I would be down the hall, turned on their favorite cartoon, and quietly slipped into my bedroom. I forgot something on my list though. Something VERY important. About halfway through this phone call, I needed to return to the kitchen to get something, though I’ve now forgotten what. I was definitely not prepared for what I found. That little mustard bottle? It was in the hands of my 2 year old. The contents of that bottle were all over my kitchen and dining area, and laundry room.  I had forgotten to lock the refrigerator! The floor, the table, the chairs, the oven, the cabinets, the dirty clothes, the washing machine, both my sons…oh, and the couch, the carpet, two tote bags, a library book, and the dog – all decorated with spots, splashes, smears and puddles of yellow mustard. What’s a mom to do? I’m not even sure what I should have done. I couldn’t even give him a stern look though. I laughed. I told the woman on the other end of the phone what was going on. Thankfully she laughed with me. I then cleaned it up as I finished the conversation. Ah, you’ve never fully multitasked until you’ve undressed two little boys covered in mustard, cleaned up a ginormous mess, and carried on a business phone call at the same time!

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Ping pong, Duck Dynasty Style

My Duck Dynasty obsessed sons came into the kitchen tonight like this, with the 3 yr. old saying, “Look Mama, we’re playing ping pong!”

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Another conversation from Mr. & Mrs.

*last night*

Mr: “Do you have your bags packed?”
Mrs: “Everything except the phone chargers and stuff I use everyday.”
Mr: “What are you wearing to the hospital?”
Mrs: “Heels.”
Mr: Pause. Giving me his exasperated/trying to deal with a ‘redhead moment’ look…
Mrs: “I might even dig out my pearls too…”
Mr: “Have you thought about anything other than shoes?”
Mrs: “Yeah. It just depends on what I have on at the moment and what shoes I feel like wearing.”

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I got flowers, and I didn’t get mad!

After work on Saturday (if you call playing with a cute baby and taking pictures work), I met Steven at our favorite restaurant for an early supper. He called me on the way there and told me to wait outside for him because he had found something for me in town that he wanted to give me before we ate. Honestly, I figured it was another Wii game or maybe he had gotten really ambitious and went to get the Cricut Expression early because he knew I planned on getting it that afternoon.

When he pulled up next to my car, he drug me out of the car and over to the SUV where he pulled up the tailgate to show me what was inside. Inside, I saw these!

Ok, now you are probably wondering why on Earth I would ever be mad about getting flowers. I’m not. HOWEVER, for the last year Steven has refused to buy me flowers. I do mean refused too. His reasoning? For the 2 years before that, maybe more, every single time he bought me flowers, I managed to get mad at him for something totally unrelated before he was able to give me the flowers! We finally broke the curse though. Steven said he decided to try a new approach this time — buying them and not talking to me again until he gave them to me. 🙂

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More quotes

Here are a few more that make me giggle.

“I’m only doing this because I think my TA’s hot.”-Shana, putting on makeup

“Don’t read me the directions; just tell me what to do!” -Lauren

Me: “Um, I think you…nevermind.”
Steven: “What?”
Me: “Nothing.”
Steven: “What were you going to say?”
Me: “Nothing. Really.”
Steven: “Yes you were. What were you gonna say?”
Me: “Nothing. You’ll laugh at me.”
Steven: “Probably will, but tell me anyway.”
Me: “No. Ok…For a second I thought…you were driving on the wrong side of the road.”
Steven: (after laughing for a couple of minutes) Good thing I’m driving.

Random guy at the bowling alley: “So who’s getting married?”
Ashley, Holly, & Me: “We are!”
Guy: “Huh?!”
haha, I’m pretty sure for a second he thought we meant to each other.

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