Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
Above is one of three verses I have held in my heart for the past year, reminding myself that I am a child of God, and He has great plans for my family.
It’s going to take me a while to tell this story in its entirety. I’m having trouble finding the right words for some reason. I’ve tried several times to sit down and type it out, but the words just never came to me. It’s already a long story, and God keeps showing me that it isn’t over yet; he has more to show me, more to do. I am really excited to see how it all turns out. While it hasn’t been an easy journey, I know His hand is over it all. I have seen so many mountains moved and details arranged over the last few months; I am in awe. I’m not just writing this for myself, but I truly can’t wait to share this story and all the wonderful things He has done for our family this year. It’s been chaotic and amazing at the same time. At every turn there seemed to be another roadblock, but God took care of each and every one. I have said this before, but when I chose joy as my word for this year, I really had no idea. No idea that now I would be writing all of this with a sweet baby girl asleep in a bouncy seat next to me. No idea I’d become an aunt again in 2013. No idea I’d make new friends that I will certainly cherish for a lifetime. No idea I’d be in a new town less than a year later. No idea I’d be waiting on my husband to come home at 5:00 so we could take the kids to the park in the middle of the week.
One morning, as I sat on my couch, my bible across my lap, I found these words in Psalm:
You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever. (Psalm 30: 11-12)
As I read those words, God spoke a promise into my heart – a promise that He knew the desires of my heart and they would be given to me so that I could proclaim this verse as part of my story. For 4 years I had been praying for my husband to get a job that would allow him to be home every night, without giving up the career that he loves. My husband started doing linework in 2006, and I knew right away it was his calling. It’s in his blood. He eats, sleeps, and breathes linework. However, it has also kept him on the road for days and sometimes weeks at a time. It’s hard saying goodbye to your husband week after week, knowing he’s leaving home to work a dangerous job and go “home” to an empty hotel room every night. It’s even harder to watch him say goodbye to his quickly growing little boys that miss their daddy and don’t understand why he is leaving or when he is coming back. I always knew God heard my prayers, and I felt that it was a matter of waiting for His timing (Oh how I wished it was on MY timing!), but sometimes doubt would creep in and make me wonder if the answer was simply no. That day God spoke to me though, and I knew the answer was yes. I clung to that verse for the rest of the year. Later I also came across Isaiah 43:19, “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and springs in the wasteland.” I wasn’t sure how or when it would all play out, but when things weren’t going as I had hoped or planned, God reminded me through that verse that it would all be for His glory in the end. And it truly has.